Friday, June 29, 2013
Jacob J Brings Home Stellar Report Card
Ecstatic
teenager allowed to keep electronics; advances to grade 11
Winnipeg, MB -
Following a productive second semester in the tenth grade, Jacob J proudly
brought home an impressive final report card. By earning grades that ranged
from 77 to 97, the Winnipeg high school student successfully completed grade
ten and, much to his own delight, prevented the disposal and/or sale of his
Xbox, Wii, computer, clock radio, iPod, cellular telephone, television, PVR and
Nintendo DS.
"Hooray! I get to keep my electronics," said
the ecstatic, video game-addicted teenager. "It would have been a long,
dull summer with nothing but a stick and a rock to keep me occupied. What good
are thumbs if you can't use them?"
Jacob's second semester grades were the result of hard
work, dedication, and a suspiciously "light on the academics"
timetable.
On his final report of the 2012/13 school year, Jacob
received 97 in drama, 85 in Triple Threat, 79 in Physical Education, and 77 in
Spanish. The passing grade in Spanish is particularly impressive because the
majority of the students in the combined class had previously taken
"Español" and it was Jacob's first attempt at learning a foreign
language.
Jacob's mother had nothing but praise for her brilliant
(and unusually tall) son. Upon receiving word of Jacob's grades, the remarkably
youthful Rebecca Hadfield let out sigh of relief.
"Academically, the boy takes after me," said
Ms. Hadfield. "He can also credit me with his talent, dramatic flair,
sophisticated palate, keen wit, sparkling personality, sense of humour and good
looks. The red hair, however, remains a mystery."
The summer months will be full of adventure for the
freckle-faced 15 year old, who has been accepted into the prestigious Leaders
in Training (L.I.T.) program at Manitoba Pioneer Camp. Jacob plans to spend
some quality time at home enjoying technology, indoor plumbing and processed
foods until his departure for camp in mid-July.
Unless he is eaten by a bear, Jacob will make his
triumphant return to Grant Park High School in September.
- 30-
Very Impressive!!! I'm glad to hear the the threat of being relieved of ALL your technology will continue to motivate a kid well into his teens to achieve in school! (It works with my 8 yr old as well....and the regular beatings too!)
ReplyDeleteAnd of course all credit goes to his unusually talented mother! Who is an octagonal threat (8 separate talents...I know of two) ! Go Rebecca!